surprise, delight, dislike, or pain

Sometimes it feels like riding the rapids, with such force and such velocity.  Sometimes I can hardly pause for  thought, at times there's such a rush of adrenaline, a surge of emotions as one simply tries to compute, to go along with it all, to understand the extremes that people know everyday.  Extremes, that for them, there's no escaping.

The rapids then give way to calm and warm; floating in reef pools in a dream-like oasis of crystal blue and stillness.  The noise of Haiti evaporates for a moment.  This place gives me such peace and contentment, the likes of which I've rarely experienced.  And how can that be amidst so many extremes, drifting from the din there's music, weird and irrational?   And there's been five weeks of it.  The comforts of staying here, the good food, the swims in crystal waters each strike a discord with each new picture of poverty we see from the air-conditioned safety of each trip.  The theatre and drama of Port-au-Prince never grows dull - I'm never going to acclimatise - I wish I could do something that eases this great 'lack'.

From the rich to the poor; the secure to the disappointed . . I want to understand and make some sense of the great diversity here.  And yet why should I stare and gawp and not just accept what is here and my position in it all?  Every country has great diversity, with a complex order of things - with so much variation one cannot hope to see things simply and consistently - and this is true especially in Britain - I travel that country with indifference and acceptance.  Though here I can't look at things with indifference, everything is upside down and inside out.  There are hilltop villas overlooking Port-au-Prince with jewels for eyes. White symmetry, sweeping opulence.  And downtown, close to the waterfront, the anachronistic splendour of festooned timber peeping out of concrete and corrugated metal work.  Industry and commerce now bullies its way through to its relentless goals.  At one end of the scale I see grime and sweat, firelight and filth.  They have their stress and comforts.  At the other extreme there's a bloated excess and great relief not to poor. I must stop looking for the harsh contrasts that exist . . just like only knowing Haiti for the earthquake is a rough approximation. There are harsh contrasts but there are great swathes of the unexceptional and acceptable.  Masses of normality and contentment.

I've seen empty river ways filled with rubbish.  Commonplace for them but horrible for me.  The market days are swarming with horrendous riot and energy.  For them its just a Saturday.